I’m so glad you’re here. I’m a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor in NC and the founder of Colors of You Counseling and Consulting. Some of my identities include being white, queer, non-binary, Autistic, and ADHD. I’m passionate about the work I do because I know how painful it can be to feel disconnected from and at odds with yourself.

For many years, I worked hard to be seen as goofy “but not too weird,” attractive within white, cis, hetero norms, and go with the flow (whatever I thought would please others and help me blend in the best). My pursuit of belonging through conformity left me feeling hopeless, ashamed, and isolated.

I’m a Heartstopper fan so this quote from Nick Nelson comes to mind. “Do you ever feel like you’re only doing things because everyone else is? And you’re scared to change or do something that might confuse or surprise people? Your real personality has been, like… buried inside you for a really long time?”

Like Nick, I felt scared to break away from the status quo people had come to expect of me, especially since I didn’t realize some aspects of my identity until my twenties. Starting to increase my self-understanding and express myself authentically with trusted people allowed me to feel seen and loved, and in turn, grow in my self-compassion.

At the same time, I recognize conforming can be protective, especially when you experience layers of marginalization that I do not. I believe it’s our collective responsibility to push for changes that make our world safer, more accepting, and more accommodating. Since that’s a work in progress, community, relationships, and environments where you can get a break from pressure to conform can be important.

Inviting people in to hold compassion for the parts of you that have been hurt, misunderstood, rejected, or ignored can be healing. When we feel accepted and celebrated, we can access deeper connection to ourselves and others. If this sounds like something you’d like more of in your life, I’d love to meet you.